Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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