I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Randomize
