So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
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