My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
