ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Randomize
