i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
