my vag is so smooth its legendary
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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