I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
