Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
