oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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