Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
