I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
there is puke in my bra ... again
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