I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Randomize
