You're so nebulous sometimes
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Randomize
