Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
Randomize
