Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Randomize
