i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
