he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
