I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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