So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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