I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
