hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
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