You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
We don't watch enough power rangers
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
