Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
