sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
