I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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