Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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