That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
