Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
