Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
