let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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