how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
