why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
