I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I booty called her while she was in labor.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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