So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
