I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
