Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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