Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
