If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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