Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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