bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize