it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Randomize
