careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
I'm gonna fight the coyote
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Randomize
