what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Randomize
