After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
