Sry I called you an 8
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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