Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
