the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
he fucked my hip out of place.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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