i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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