Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Randomize
