I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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