Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
