I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
