I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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