I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
