Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
