The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
