Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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