I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
